The Chariot

The Tocksteins are not minvan people, although I can understand why many people with small children are. If we had more than one kid (and we don't...and won't...at least not until Hanna goes off to college), I could certainly understand the need for a larger vehicle.

The vehicle of choice for our upcoming road trip is my 2006 Volkswagen Jetta. I have a great fondness for this car as it was the first new car I ever drove off of a lot. I've had it for almost 4 years now, and it has a few scratches, dings, and dents, but that just adds character. I still vacuum it out and Armor All the dash at least once a month, and I have done a reasonably good job of keeping up with all of the maintenance on it. I've also recently integrated my iPod into the stereo, so I now have access to 13,000 of my favorite songs at the touch of a button. For the upcoming trip I am going to rig up our personal DVD player to the back of the driver's seat so Hanna can watch her favorite DVDs on the road.

The Jetta has made the road trip to Tennessee only once before. While the road trips are long, there is something nice about having MY car with me when I'm out of town. In my experience I've found rental cars to be a mixed bag, and you seldom know exactly what you are going to get until you find a small 2-door hatchback waiting for you at the airport with barely enough room in it for your carseat and luggage.

I remember telling my Dad I was going to get a Volkswagen, and the only thing he could think of was my last VW, which was a 1986 VW Golf that looked (and smelled) as though it had been pulled out of a junkyard. It was a constant struggle to keep it running (thanks to Herb Piercy for the generous donation of his time and expertise), but that car had CHARACTER! The horn sounded like a T-Rex from "Jurassic Park" and there was always some kind of fungus growing in the seat cushions. I had that car between the years of 1994 and 1996, and I still remember it fondly. (Maybe I should blog about all the cars I've had...that might be an interesting post).

My Jetta doesn't smell gross, and there isn't any fungus growing in the seats as far as I can tell, but it still has character, and it somehow fits me. I'm looking forward to putting a few more miles on her in just over a week.

Till next time, here is the greatest travel song ever....

762 miles of fun!

I've decided to start the blog up again after taking about 6 weeks off. I'm sure the 3 people who read this blog will be greatly relieved that I have returned!

In just a few weeks from now, on April 26, Terri, Hanna, and I will be heading north to Tennessee. Since we've had Hanna, this trip has always been accomplished by a 90 minute plane ride to Nashville or Knoxville. But since we now have to pay for a plane ticket for Hanna, we were looking at upwards of 500 to 600 bucks for a trip. Since gas is still relatively cheap, we decided it would be much more cost-effective to drive.

I have never been in a car with a 2-year old for upwards of 12 hours, and I'm not sure how that is going to work. Hanna has made a car trip from Illinois to Knoxville (roughly 8 hours) without major incident, so hopefully that is a good sign.

The northbound drive on Interstate 75 through Florida and Georgia isn't exactly scenic. There is little to break up the monotony except billboards for "Cafe Risque" (WE BARE ALL!!!) and the occasional rest stop offering free orange juice (in Florida) or pecans (in Georgia). The drive through downtown Atlanta is always an adventure, especially in rush hour. We are driving on a Sunday so hopefully that won't be an issue, but it always seems like there is a wreck on that particular stretch of road. The scenery begins in north Georgia and Chattanooga, when the mountains start to creep over the horizon. The drive from Chattanooga to Nashville is quick but relatively dull, with more fireworks stores and gas stations than I could ever count.

Our first stop will be Terri's folks in Portland, TN, which is about an hour north of Nashville. After spending a few days with them, mid-week we will head over to Knoxville to spend the rest of the time with my folks.

We'll have the iPods charged, the portable DVD player ready to go, the oil changed, the tires brought up to pressure, and enough pillows and blankets in the car to dress a king sized bed (because Terri plans to sleep for approximately 10 hours of the trip).

Look for more updates soon as we prepare for our first big road trip in about three years!

DIY Home Theater, part 2

The home theater isn't quite finished, but it's close. I need to buy a ceiling mount for my projector. I had planned on setting it on a shelf at the back of the room, but that isn't going to work. Currently I have the projector on a very low shelf at the back of the room. Because of this I've had to move the couch to the side of the room (and as you will see in the video it is very easy to cast shadows on the screen!)

However enough of the components are in place that we can watch movies in there now. In the following short video clip I show the size of the screen. I stand in front of the screen so you get some sense of scale, but it may be hard to see in this dark and grainy video.

Needless to say, I am really enjoying it. I am going to find it difficult to drive to the movies now with such a large screen in our home!

Until next time...

Scenes from a Mall

This morning I had to have a flat tired patched at the Sears Auto Center. Rather than sit in the waiting room I decided to venture out into the adjoining mall.

The mall -- any mall -- is an interesting place before 10:00 AM. Most of the stores still have the steel security gates in place. The food court is dark and empty. The small kiosks which sell sunglasses or perfume are covered with large tarps. And of course there are the Mall Walkers.

The Mall Walkers are an interesting bunch. It is a universal law that no Mall Walker is under 70 years old. They are almost always female, and those who bring their husbands leave them to their newspaper and coffee at one of the many "resting spots" in the mall, which usually consist of leather recliners or comfortable couches. In most cases, these abandoned husbands end up falling asleep.

Countryside Mall, the mall closest to my house, has a large ice skating rink between Dillard's and Macy's. It was at the ice skating rink that I witnessed the scene which inspired me to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and share this.

In the middle of the ice-skating rink was a group of about twenty ladies, all of them senior citizens, who were waving around hula-hoops with streamers attached to them, going through some kind of synchronized dance routine to the songs "Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis and "Light My Fire" by the Doors. These two songs played repeatedly for about 15 minutes. I just sat there with my coffee and watched with a mixture of shock and amusement. Where else would I see this but at a mall on a Wednesday morning at 9:30 AM?

I took a very grainy shot with my camera phone, and thanks to the wonders of the Internet I can share this lovely story with all of you.

The Cousins invade Orlando!

There are going to be many first, second, and even third cousins in this story, so get out your scorecards and try to keep up...

My FIRST cousin (my Mom's brother's daughter) Amy lives in Illinois with her husband Corey, and their kids Jacob, Dylan, and Riley. Which would make Jacob, Dylan, and Riley my SECOND cousins, and would make Hanna Amy's SECOND cousin. Which would of course make Hanna and Amy's kids THIRD cousins. Got that?

Amy, Corey, and their kids have been in Orlando all week and staying at Port Orleans Riverside at the Walt Disney World Resort. Amy's kids are the perfect age for a Disney trip. Jacob is 9, Dylan is 7, and Riley is 5. This past Wednesday I had the day off and was given Terri's blessing to travel to Disney World without her. It would just be a Daddy and Hanna trip. I must admit I was a bit concerned at first. Hanna is a handful when both of us take her to Disney. What would it be like with just me? Fortunately it turned out to be a great trip. Hanna and her cousins played around all day long, and Hanna slept all the way back to Clearwater. Here is a short video of our day for your amusement.

(I sometimes do voiceovers in what I call my "1940's Announcer Guy Voice" which Terri hates but for some reason I can't stop myself from doing once the camera is rolling. Enjoy!)

DIY Home Theater, part 1

When we bought our house in 2003, there was one thing that pushed it over the top for me. Terri liked the tile floors, the open floor plan, the kitchen, and the bedrooms. All of that is fine. But what sold me was the extra room that sits just off the dining room. It was called a "Florida Room" in the listing, although some would call it a "sunroom". People not living in Florida would simply call it an extra room. It was formerly a garage, converted into living space by the previous occupants. It was long and narrow and perfect for my ultimate evil plans! A Home Theater!

This was something I had been thinking about ever since my family lived in West Virginia way back in 1990. A room totally devoted to watching television and movies. I believe such a room used to be called a "den". But during the 1990's people were taking the traditional den to new levels with big screen TVs, surround sound systems, and even theater seats installed in their homes!

Sometimes these strange rooms are called "Man Caves", but mine has been dubbed "The Batcave" or "The Hatch" by my friends. I am also very aware that a fascination with home theater is limited to males only (as Terri is so fond of reminding me). Apparently digital surround sound and a high definition picture means very little to members of the opposite sex. That being said, Terri has been very supportive of my new project (which means she says "I don't care what you do in there, I just don't want it spilling out into the rest of the house.")

This room previously held a 65-inch big screen television. I sold it a few weeks ago on Craig's List and used the funds to purchase a 120-inch screen. I will be getting a video projector in a few weeks, which will truly be like having a movie theater in our house.

I'm using this as an online journal of my progress. It will probably be less than 3 or 4 entries as converting this room into a darkened theater requires surprisingly little effort. Here are some pics.

This is very early in the process. Note the tools and junk still scattered about. The screen is already hung up, as you can see above the long window. My buddy Matt and I had quite a time hanging that sucker. We are about the least handy handymen the world has ever seen. Anyway, when the screen is pulled down it will cover the window and effectively darken the room.

Of course, movie-themed art is essential for any home theater. As you can see, all six Star Wars posters hang proudly in the room above the DVD and Blu-ray collection.

The ceiling fan may soon be removed, as it might cast an ugly shadow on the screen once the projector is installed.

My new component rack at the rear of the room, on which sits my reciever, cable box, and Playstation 3 (which will double as my DVD and Blu-ray player).

And finally, the screen in it's lowered position. Note Hanna in the foreground for a size comparison. Now I just have to wait for the tax return so I can get a projector to put an image on it!

More to come...

He's making a list...

The annual right of passage for all little kids who celebrate Christmas is the visit with Santa. Whether it be at the mall, church, department store, or -- as was the case with our favorite Santa -- in a Santa Village in a small little house surrounded by plastic reindeer. This setup was cool because Santa was inside the house and you couldn't see him until you actually went inside, and then you had him all to yourself until one of his helpful elves had taken your Polaroid (remember those?) and shoved you and your parents out the door so the next kid could get his turn with the Big Guy. It was much nicer than the other Santas who were placed on an elevated throne in a mall with dozens of people watching you impatiently while you tried to remember what you needed to tell him. Remember Ralphie in "A Christmas Story"? Then you know exactly what I mean. Anyway, this Santa Village was off of Broadway in East Knoxville, and as I recall was in the parking lot of a Kroger grocery store. It was a small A-frame structure that sat vacant for 11 months of the year, but from Thanksgiving until December 24 it was the home of Santa. And (according to my Mom) he was the "real" Santa. All the other "fake" Santas were his elves, who were "helping" Santa take all of the kid's Christmas requests. It's a pretty good cover story when you think about it. (The Beach Boys Christmas tune "Santa's Beard" also makes it clear that department store and mall Santas are just "helpers" for Kris Kringle).

I thought it was really cool that the "real" Santa had his office in my hometown of Knoxville, TN.

(After talking to my Mom about it and searching on Google Earth, it appears Santa's Knoxville headquarters has been replaced by a fast food restaurant).

Anyway, we have a perfectly good Santa (or "Santa Helper") at Countryside Mall, about 10 minutes from our house. He isn't one of those garish, obviously younger obese men wearing blush and a fake beard. He is an older gentleman with genuine facial hair and just enough of a paunch to qualify as "jolly".

We waited in line for about 20 minutes to see him. Hanna would wave and smile at him whenever she could see him, but as we approached I sensed things might take a turn for the worse. She started saying "No Zinta. No Zinta". (Zinta is Hanna-speak for Santa). But as we walked out onto the fake snow that surrounded the Big Guy, Hanna smiled and waved. She didn't seem too thrilled when Terri sat her down in his lap, but she played along...sort of. She didn't cry but she obviously wasn't really enjoying herself. They took a few pictures, and when it seemed things might be going south Terri stepped in and reassured Hanna that we weren't leaving her with a large, strange-looking man. I did my part by standing next to the camera and waving my arms around and making noises like a fool. As you can see by the picture, she still wasn't too amused.

They took a few more pics and it was time to go. She waved at good old Zinta, and then we went and paid 20 bucks for a few 3x5 inch photos. It was magical.

Just for comparison, look at the photos below and you will see the marked improvement over last year's Santa debacle. But in Hanna's defense, 2007 Santa does seem pretty creepy!